From the President: Try These "Alternative" Careers

by Sherry Hamilton, acting STC-SRC president

Several years ago I wrote an article encouraging technical communicators to consider careers in the non-profit sector as an alternative to corporate employment. Now in an attempt at humor and to air a few pet peeves, I'm proposing some other possible careers for my fellow technical communicators.

Corporate-speak syllable-efficiency expert - The CSSEE is a much needed position at many big companies, where managers and workers frequently engage in bloated speech. Consider the use of the word visibility, as in, "They need to have visibility to the data." This statement, which contains thirteen syllables, five alone for "visibility," is guaranteed to grind a millimeter or two of enamel off the teeth of many technical communicators each time they hear it uttered. The CSSEE could pare this offensive statement to a mere seven syllables, "They need to see the data," thus saving speaking time, reducing the length of emails and other documents, and decreasing dental insurance costs.

Vanity license-plate consultant - Now that an estimated 90 percent of certain makes of cars have vanity license plates (the PT Cruiser, for example), the VLPC is a vital new career choice for writers needing to pick up some spare change. Why sport something as obvious as, MY PT or PTCRUZR, when a talented VLPC could liven your license and possibly your love life with CRUZME, LETS PT, or YRPTRMN?

Radio-announcer corrections specialist - I am a fan of public radio, but even on this esteemed voice of standard English, I hear ear-splitting phrases such as, "Traffic is starting to heavy up on the connector." If you're like me and are hoarse from screaming, "Heavy is not a verb," consider RACS as a future career. Mind you, this position is voluntary. Public radio might be willing to pay for corrections, but then they would need several more days of fund raising each year to cover your salary. So maybe instead of sending NPR a check, you could just donate your RACS services.